“In him was life, and life was the light of all mankind.” John 1:4
I know this post is way overdue, and the first one I have written since I have moved to Pearl. I guess maybe because I was waiting until everything felt right until I wrote. You know, no sad I miss “home” posts because let us always keep it together, right? Yeah. Wrong. Sometimes, I have learned people just want the truth and no lies and fake smiles so I seem to do better in writing it most of the time. So, I will do my best not to have the fake smile on when I am writing this today. No, I am not sad. I just miss what was home for me for the past three and a half years. More so, I miss the place where my life was changed and my heart fell in love with Jesus. Maybe you get it and maybe you do not but I do not know how to explain that in any other terms or big words. I am fresh out. I will however get you up to date on what is going on in my life so I can also get to the part I want to say more. Ready? Ok.
I am in Pearl, MS now living in our house we bought. We gained a kitten named Patty when I got here and just recently lost her to some kind of who knows really what it was. Her last days though were full of love and that is what matters. We buried her under the peach tree. Yep. Peach tree. I love LOVE peaches. Since then, we have added a chameleon named Jethro and a kitten named Luna Jo. JD is a fan of both. Luna not so much. I am not good at all at planning a wedding. I have found my dress, though, which was a lovely day! Samantha joined me on the search so we spent more time laughing at the fact that I could not breathe in that bra thing they put on me. You know, probably close to the ones they wore back in the day when you just lived without breathing. Yeah. Preston and I got our engagement pictures done, and the big cow picture hung up in the living room. I know that is not the most important thing – probably the fact that we have a microwave is partly the most important. Actually, the people who sold the house to us left us many appliances which was a super blessing. God has provided like He always does and He always will. I have learned that in the past few years. He always provides. He is always faithful. I love that. Don’t you?
If I was writing this paper for school, I would so have missed a point for that last sentence. Speaking of school, it is going good so no worries. Okay, maybe not so good, but I am passing and that is what matters. Math is next. I hate math. If I were to give you an example of this, I would rather eat dirt. I do not have any examples good enough to explain the hate that I have for this subject. There has been a lot of anxiety over it, but I am trusting the Lord to get me through it. Because really if I am honest, which I always want to be, HE always gets me through. I attended the Casting Crowns concert with my friend the other weekend and during Elevation Worship I heard the lead singer say this; “Jesus is always enough”. I have been holding on to this through the last few weeks as I have tried to settle in to my new normal. It’s funny though I wasn’t built for normal. I do not think any of us were it is just more comfortable. Comfortable seems to be where I find the most trouble though because as long as I am comfortable everything is fine in my world of vision. Reality however is this truth: the enemy loves comfortable because that is where he gets his stupid little toe in until his whole foot is in the door. I asked for uncomfortable a long time ago. After my total surrender came the uncomfortable, and I have put on and off my running shoes since then. But I still keep going back to Jesus is always enough. He use to not be. I use to think the ways of the world were enough. You know..getting high, drunk, sleeping around, doing whatever I wanted to do, and always running from responsibility. I ask Susan on a daily basis it seems just to come get me. She never does. I think probably because she knows as well as I do that going back to what was “home” for me is also not enough. JESUS is enough, friends. He is the only enough we will ever have. Nothing else fills that. So, if you are my friend and well even if you aren’t will you know that truth with me today? Jesus. Is. Always. Enough. And if you are struggling to find your place today or maybe you have a Susan in your life that you ask to come get you all the time I hope she keeps saying no. I hope you find peace in knowing that God has planted you right where you need to be. I hope that one day in the near future you will realize that just because the uncomfortable is very MUCH uncomfortable we were never meant to be comfortable. I mean, I’m sure Joseph wasn’t very comfortable in his jail cell, and I KNOW Paul was not. But God, yep there it is, BUT GOD showed up in their uncomfortable. I am holding on to that. Because I do know today that Jesus is enough for me. Even in the hard, the broken family, the unforgiveness, and EVEN in the math problems coming up. He is always enough for me, and I will say that for the rest of my life because I can. And because I know. AND because that is WHO he says HE IS..enough. He is enough.